Taken by surprise
You know how people tell you to not expect too much of a movie before watching it so that you would eventually enjoy it?
You know how people always tell you to not expect it to happen because it usually happens when you least expect it to?
But to me, all these are not genuine because you actually have to consciously play down your expectations on purpose just so that you would not end up disappointed.
Guess what? With God, I've discovered that it really isn't like that. I really was taken by surprise today. And I love it when that happens. I mean, what could possibly be so extraordinarily exciting about a typical Sunday when you stayed up till 3.30am the night before (trying so hard to save that assignment) and had to wake up only 3 hours later for church? Let's be honest. All that's on your mind throughout the entire service are the silent screams that your body is giving, begging you to crawl back into bed to nurse that migraine of yours.
Amazingly, God had something else on His agenda for me (and perhaps, many others too) today. My sleep-deprived brain cells were somehow able to make sense of what Unc Mike was preaching today. I felt a connection deep within. Something definitely got through to me and I instinctively responded to the gentle beckoning within me. What do you know? It hardly took a minute for me to start bawling like a baby...tears streamed down my face as I remembered.
I remembered what it was that I was living for. I remembered why on earth I slog and toil sweat and tears (and most probably blood too....haha) to do the things that I need to do. I remembered what it means like to simply be loved not because I earned it...but because I am worth it.
Reconciliation.
I love that word. It speaks of rekindled love. It speaks of forgetting the past and looking beyond the differences, the difficulties and the isolation.
You know how so many of us are always so idealistic when we talk about giving our future to God; we actually think that it means going to some "God-forsaken" third world country and feeding the poor. We sometimes visualize having to leave loved ones and a life of luxury to become a poor missionary. We also sometimes may have the idea that offering up our lives to Him would mean, serving full-time in ministry. Or even becoming a celibate. Well, if these ideas appear foreign to you, then at least, that was what I had envisioned all these years. Me wanting to contribute to the world, wanting to do something big for mankind (perhaps, more to feed my ego than anything else).
But recently and now more than ever, I've discovered that offering up my life to Him is a daily affair. Not merely a dramatic one-time thing. It means, I'm throwing myself at Him saying, "Here, I'm handing over my worries, my fears, my future and all that concerns me to You. I'm trusting that You know what You're doing." Simple trust. Allowing sheer grace to bring us through each single day.
As a student, I am saying, "Lord, You already know what I am going to do in the future. Even if I don't see the finances that would be needed in time to come, I trust that You would bring me to where You want me to be..."
As a young lady, I am saying, "Lord, even if I remain single for the rest of my life, I know that my life would not be of any less value, satisfaction or joy. I would be no less in any way. And I'm depending on You for a life of 'more' than one of 'less'. I trust You to fulfil my every need."
As a person, I am saying, "All that worries and bothers me each day...I give to You. There's probably nothing I can do about half of them because they are inevitable. But help me to see things from a different perspective - Yours."
Our God is a God of surprises,
A God that comes through when we least expect it,
A God that is last-minute but always there,
A God that will faithfully be with us throughout this lifetime and the lifetime ahead!
Thinking of you!
Posted by
Cmate |
10:28 PM
Amen to all that uve written! No words could have put it better ;) *Hugz
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:38 AM
i was almost in tears when i read this entry. not because i'm sappy, but because i was reminded of "...what it means like to simply be loved not because I earned it...but because I am worth it." (Serena, 2005). As human beings, we forget easily. Thank you, Serena, for reminding me. You may not even realize the lives that you touch each day. God bless you.
love,
QiaN
Posted by
Anonymous |
7:38 PM
Thx, Gina. That was beautiful....you sure have a gift for poems!
Thx, anon. Jan?
Qian...glad to have been of a blessing altho I didn't realize. But yah, life has a way of getting to us so that we tend to easily forget what we truly hold dearest to hearts...Well, that's why we're here for each other then...to constantly be a reminder and encouragement for each other lor, my dear! If only can spend more time with you la...
Posted by
Serena |
12:07 AM
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