The 365th Day
It's this day again.
I have to write something today. Sometimes I wonder why we have new year's eve and new year's day when actually it's just two very ordinary days, save for excessive partying and some great excuse for making it a public holiday. Not that I am complaining though. =P
I think I've become a more private person this year. Hence, the drastic reduction in blogging as compared to before. That doesn't mean that I have stopped writing completely - just that, I write somewhere else, keeping many thoughts only to myself for they seem very precious to me. Is that good, I wonder?
I look back and all I can say is that I've had a full year. Full of its joys and equally full of its sorrows. I cannot count the number of times my pillow sheets have to be changed due to being severely stained by heartbroken tears (I love the environment and so I seldom bother with tissue paper...haha). I also cannot count the number of times I squealed out of joy at the little surprises that have come this way, out of the sheer kindness of people, close and random.
If there's any purpose for the 365th day of the year, I reckon, it's at least a time to do some stock-taking of where we've been and perhaps, where we want to head next. Being such a "planner" all my life, it's funny how I have stopped planning so much these days. Probably because I know that my plans often fail to materialize (probably because they were lousy in the first place....haha....till today, my dear friend Jamie thinks I am terrible at making good plans - again, subject to disputes).
Nonetheless, I am glad for this day. It somehow seems longer than most days. And this year, I am going to spend it just being home. Just spending some precious time with the most important people in my life. Nevermind that we yell and scream at each other all the time (actually, most of the yelling comes from me...sigh...still working on it, Lord...help...); the fact is, at least we have each other to scream at. I am thankful that I still have a place to call home.
I finally visited my paternal grandmother yesterday. Due to my overused excuses of being busy (oh, how I abhor that word and yet I still so often am....eesh...), I haven't seen her in a long time. The moment I laid eyes on her, my heart broke. This is the woman who bore her son in order that he might conceive me decades later, looking so frail and weak. She was so thin that she was beyond recognition. What's worse, she couldn't recognize me anymore! I only have myself to blame. As I kissed her wrinkled face, aged with 81 years of hard labour and pain, I was filled with remorse and sorrow.
Sigh, how I take these dear elderly ones for granted. I must have forgotten that without them, there would be no me. Lord, forgive my excessive busyness... And so for the new year, I am determined to make some changes. I need to. I don't want to regret later.
On a lighter note, it is nice to see your little dreams come true. It's nice to see that God does make things beautiful in His time. Not yours, not mine.
And whatever God makes, IS BEAUTIFUL.
I have to write something today. Sometimes I wonder why we have new year's eve and new year's day when actually it's just two very ordinary days, save for excessive partying and some great excuse for making it a public holiday. Not that I am complaining though. =P
I think I've become a more private person this year. Hence, the drastic reduction in blogging as compared to before. That doesn't mean that I have stopped writing completely - just that, I write somewhere else, keeping many thoughts only to myself for they seem very precious to me. Is that good, I wonder?
I look back and all I can say is that I've had a full year. Full of its joys and equally full of its sorrows. I cannot count the number of times my pillow sheets have to be changed due to being severely stained by heartbroken tears (I love the environment and so I seldom bother with tissue paper...haha). I also cannot count the number of times I squealed out of joy at the little surprises that have come this way, out of the sheer kindness of people, close and random.
If there's any purpose for the 365th day of the year, I reckon, it's at least a time to do some stock-taking of where we've been and perhaps, where we want to head next. Being such a "planner" all my life, it's funny how I have stopped planning so much these days. Probably because I know that my plans often fail to materialize (probably because they were lousy in the first place....haha....till today, my dear friend Jamie thinks I am terrible at making good plans - again, subject to disputes).
Nonetheless, I am glad for this day. It somehow seems longer than most days. And this year, I am going to spend it just being home. Just spending some precious time with the most important people in my life. Nevermind that we yell and scream at each other all the time (actually, most of the yelling comes from me...sigh...still working on it, Lord...help...); the fact is, at least we have each other to scream at. I am thankful that I still have a place to call home.
I finally visited my paternal grandmother yesterday. Due to my overused excuses of being busy (oh, how I abhor that word and yet I still so often am....eesh...), I haven't seen her in a long time. The moment I laid eyes on her, my heart broke. This is the woman who bore her son in order that he might conceive me decades later, looking so frail and weak. She was so thin that she was beyond recognition. What's worse, she couldn't recognize me anymore! I only have myself to blame. As I kissed her wrinkled face, aged with 81 years of hard labour and pain, I was filled with remorse and sorrow.
Sigh, how I take these dear elderly ones for granted. I must have forgotten that without them, there would be no me. Lord, forgive my excessive busyness... And so for the new year, I am determined to make some changes. I need to. I don't want to regret later.
On a lighter note, it is nice to see your little dreams come true. It's nice to see that God does make things beautiful in His time. Not yours, not mine.
And whatever God makes, IS BEAUTIFUL.
Hey Serena!
Everyone just loves to sit down on the 365th day and think of all those days that have passed us by before we head to a brand new year. I used to do that too and write lengthy pages to be kept somewhere deep inside the miserable cupboard. And when I need to know that I have friends who love me for who I am, I take them out and read those faithful names again on the list.
This year, I decided to scrap that list of names. Nothing that I want to remember about, except how God has brought me to the place I am today. Nevertheless to say, HE is a FAITHFUL God. It's doesnt matter if I shut Him out sometimes, He just never leaves me. What a FAITHFUL God we have!
See you when I see you!
HUGS!
Posted by
Cmate |
10:35 AM
Hey Serena,
Such a lovely post! Happy new year :)
Posted by
Astrorat |
6:44 PM
Dear gina...
what a joy it is to see how much you've grown! and here's to a spectacular year with more adventures than you could ever think of! (haha....that sounds like a line from enid blyton's famous five or something...) Love u dear!
Genius: do drop by my desk for a visit one of these days ok? =) it'd be great to have the honourable presence of a genius.... =P
Posted by
Serena |
10:37 AM
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